This is a hard time of year for me!

June, 18th! Wow where is the time going? I can't keep up. Gabby is now 11. A great big heart thumping sadness hits me full on as I watch the child I really never expected to have and she isn't a baby anymore! She is as smart, mischievous as I ever was and plus she has Chey's help. It's thoroughly amazing to see how they think and to imgagine them compared to me when I was their age. Then to top it off I have 4 children spread out in ages from 27 to 11. I remember back when I always felt like I would have a baby in my life because I couldn't see myself without one. Now the thought of having one full time in my life is just plain crazy and scarier than shit. It would definitly be a big test to my belief of "prolife" not "prochoice". Thank God I will never have to make that choice because Steve and I have taken "proactive" measures to make sure we won't have to face that particular challenge. We are getting to an age where raising babies in not in our agenda at all. We can't get enough sleep as it is.
Today was a nice change of pace. I didn't fall asleep until at least 9 am. I didn't wake up for good until after 5:30pm. When I woke, the back yard had been mowed and cleaned up. He had gone to the video store. And he made dinner, spagetti and it was awesome. First time we have sat down as a family in a month probably. Yesterday for Gabby's birthday we went to Tommy's and Jess met us there and we went swimming and in the hot tub. Playing with Emily was amazingly fun but I was so tired and grateful that I didn't have to deal with a 15 month year old every day, all day. Or worse yet, 2 of them all over again. Fun the first time but to old to even consider it again.
Still incredibly tired and will probably sleep well tonight. Tomorrow I will have tons of things to accomplish before work starts all over for the week. Wonder what the new week will bring and pray that it is great for ever one in the company. Lord help me do a good job. Help improve my rusty skills and memory. Allow the creative side of myself to open up. I will pay attention and take action and thank my higher power for being faithful as he always is.