The vampire in me returns.

I am really starting to get use to this night gig. I came home this morning and the sun was almost hurting me. I always knew I was a creature of the dark!! Off to work I go!!

Leap Tests

Well the kids took their post leap tests yesterday. After their pretest back in the spring I was a little nervous, neither did real well on the math. Gabby did really good in reading and Chey did okay. This time around, Chey did great in both, kicked the reading tests butt! The math test she did was hard but she did well. Gabby kicked butt in both areas. However, she wasn't to happy with me. I printed out two tests for each of them. Unfortunately for Gabby I didn't realize I printed the 6th grade test for her instead of the 5th grade test, so she had to take them twice. Thank God she is such a forgiving, loving, generous child or she still wouldn't be speaking to me.

Today we are back to regular lessons and have lots to catch up on since my hours and days off keep changing. I think we will get this routine down. It will just take time. The kids have become night owls and I just want to come home and sleep. However, school first so they have to get up and when they are done I can go to bed!! I can't wait!

ABC Meme

I stole this off of my friend's blog and thought I would give it a try and I love the message. Thank you Diana

A - Age: I have exactly 29 more days to say I am 42. God I love 42 and I am sure I will love 43 as well.


B - Bed size: King but the dh, the baby girl and the dog name King hog it!

C - Chore you hate:
Yes, I hate chores. Good answer Diana, I am sticking with yours.

D - Dog's name: King, Kingston, Kinger, King-a-ling, he will answer to all.


E - Essential start-your-day item: taking that first drink of Dr. Pepper

F - Favorite color: blue, purple, and black, I can't pick one, the others would get jealous

G - Gold or Silver: Gold

H - Height: 5'3 1/2 don't forget the 1/2
I - Instruments you play(ed): Violin and piano, although I can't remember how to play either

J- Job title: Dispatcher is what I do to pay the bills, learning coach to my 2 beautiful daughters, cook, laundress, landscaper, taxi driver and I am sure there are more.

K - Kid(s): Joe, 27, Jess, 22, Cheyenne, almost 13, Gabrielle, almost eleven

L - Living arrangements: With great husband, my 3 girls, my mother-in-law, our dogs, King and Tanner, and the gerbils, Suki and Kari

M - Mom's name: Judy

N - Nicknames: Mom, mother, Gorgous (from my dh), T-2

O - Ocean that I would love to see again.

P - Pet Peeve: Someone leaving my spotless kitchen dirty, 20 minutes after I made it spotless.

Q - Quote from a movie: "It's Good!" Bruce Almighty

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: None, whether this is a blessing or depressing is a ?

T - Time you wake up:That's up in the air right now since I am just starting working nights and haven't figured out how to sleep in the day yet.

U- Underwear: only under skirts or dresses

V-Vegetable you dislike: Sweet potatoes

W - Ways you run late: Forget that need gas in the car

X - X-rays you've had: pretty much my whole entire body

Y - Yummy food you make: I like food other people make better. My dh would say sausage omelet, my little ones would say pork chops, and the oldest would say steak on the grill.

Z - Zoo favorite: Memories of when the girls where little and we would go with Amelia, Hannah and Hayden. My favorite picture of them are the 4 girls at the zoo. They were gorgeous and bright and funny and anything was still possible at that point.

The world is always changing, does anything stay the same?

It was my second night of working grave yard. I can't believe that I haven't had any real sleep in 2 days. I mean when I worked days I had no problem sleeping during the day, now that I need too, huh, it's not happening. Go figure!

Got to work last night and my co-worker, who shared my name, no longer works there. She quit a half hour before she was suppose to come to work. I wish her well. I know my neck will be in much better shape since I will no longer be wrenching my head in every direction every time I hear my name or hers. It will be much less confusing for everyone involved and I won't have to live with the nickname, T-2! Dodged a bullet there. Oh yeah, the new really cool coffee, hot coco and whatever else machine that was new when I went to work on Sat. night (it didn't work) is already gone too. I was looking forward to that hot coco. But on the bright side, I won't be gaining any weight from it.

I actually really like working nights. It's been a long time since I was outside at night when everyone else is sleeping and I am hard at work. Driving home in the morning to a sleeping household is different when it is daylight. I actually took a 2 hour nap before waking kids for school today. They are hard at it and I am on my way to check their completed work before it gets turned in. This just might be the best thing that has ever happened for us.

First shift working graveyard!

After all the years of not being able to sleep at night and then the last few months of not being able to stay awake past 11 pm I was a little worried my night owl had abandoned me. Now it seems my day owl has abandoned me. I did fine last night. Stayed awake for the whole shift. Talked to a bunch of drunk people. Laughed a lot, did lots of paperwork without to many mistakes and came home ready to go to bed. But my owl has different plans for me. They don't seem to include sleep. It is now 2pm and I have to be at work at 10:30pm. I need some sleep or tonight I might not make it without a few major screw ups.

You would be (or maybe you wouldn't be) totally baffled by the people that you deal with in the towing industry at night. One guy called and needed a tow, but he didn't know where he was. If he didn't know, how were we suppose to know? Then there was the lady that came to Vegas for vacation and got a DUI on her way to town and spent her whole vacation in jail. She came for her car at 2 am only to find out it was at a different yard but had to be paid for at our yard. Then the cab took her to the other yard and her car is not drive able. She kept screaming we wrecked her car. Wow, she must have been drunk not to realize she took her little sports car off road and did a 360 with it. $200 in cab fare and a tow bill of $500 and she was no closer to getting back home. Man, will people ever learn it doesn't pay to get drunk and drive?

I almost can't wait for tonight's adventures. I am sure they will be good. I am just glad that we don't unlock the door and they only have a tiny window with bars on it to yell at us through. It is mighty good entertainment though. Well I am off, hopefully to sleep. If not maybe I can pretend to and it will happen anyway. :)

I've been working out!

My usual routine in working out is this; I work out one day. The next I hurt so bad I don't work out thinking that I need a day to rest and I will pick it up the day after. In other words, I will work out every other day. Never happens for more than two work outs and more than likely, only one.

I have decided to seriously get in shape. I weigh 30 pounds more than my normal weight (which was way to skinny) but I like to look thin. Right now I look healthy but chunky. I don't want the chunks. I decided I don't care if I lose any weight as long as all the weight on me is muscle. So I have worked out every day this week. 5 days in a row. I hurt everywhere. I try to make excuses not to work out. My husband gets all snotty and tells me that I should only work out every other day. I tell him that it doesn't work for me and besides if movie stars can work out 5 or 6 hours a day to get buff for a role, I can work out an hour a day for myself.

After my work out yesterday and today, I pulled weeds. I thought I was going to break in half. Bending down the proper way was out of the question. My thighs are killing me. But I did manage to hold in my gut and tighten all my muscles while I was pulling the weeds. Yesterday I was able to pick all the weeds up and put them in the trash. Today, they are still in two piles in the back yard as I was unable to bend anymore.

Does this mean I won't work out tomorrow? Hell no, I am suppose to go on a six mile hike but I may pass that up for cleaning the house and working out on that Total Gym, that Steve swore would just gather dust and hold clothes. BTW when it is holding clothes, their not mine, their his. I love my Total Gym. I plan on turning 43 next month in the best shape I have ever been in. My gift to me. Just cause I am getting older doesn't mean I have to give up having a nice bod!!!!!

Children with different taste in art!

This is Cheyenne's master piece. She drew it free hand. She spends almost half of her down time drawing. She has always been good but she just keeps getting better and better. I couldn't figure out where she got her artistic talent from since I can barely draw a straight line and her dad can only draw Fred Flinstone. I found out from my mom that my Uncle Chuck had tremendous artistic talent. I knew he could build a house and do so beautifully but I didn't know that he was an actual draw picture kind of artist. The things you find out after a person has passed on to the other side. I wish I could have seen some of his work. Of course I saw the houses he built and he was a true artist there. I praying Chey will keep her drawing and her interest in learning about drawing up. I am really jealous because I always wanted to be able to draw.
Then there is my son Joe. He loves to have "art" drawn on to his body. This is his latest addition to his many tat's. I sometimes wonder if he knows the meaning of the word Karma and just how real and important it is. I am glad he chose this one over the one he was going to get which was,"you hate me" written in German. Here is another example of a great artist. When he was young he could draw anything and it was truly amazing. I always prayed he would continue the work but he felt the only thing he was good enough for was comic books. I know he was better than that but even if he just settled for comic books it would be a better job choice than taxi driver. I haven't seen my boy in 4 months. I miss him. Piercings and tat's and attitude and all. I wish I could hug my boy.

New work hours!

Well ask and you shall get an answer. I was wondering what my hours would be at work once I was trained. Last night my boss called and I answered rather depressed because I thought she was going to tell me I had to work today but instead she gave me my new schedule. 11 pm to 7:30 am. Guess I will have to find the night owl in me that I somehow got rid of just a few months ago but I am actually thrilled because I won't miss time with my kids and I will be there all day to be their learning coach. Plus in 6 weeks they are out of school and we can do things during the day and I can sleep in the evening. Life is good!

What a little me time can do for your attitude!

Not a great picture but then I never think I take great pictures but the picture itself isn't what is important. What is important is that I took a little me time in between working, running people here and there, being a school teacher, a mom, a daughter- in-law, a housekeeper, an accountant, and the list goes endlessly on and I did something for myself. I went and got my hair cut which I haven't done in at least 6 months and it needed it so bad. I finally have hair that is basically all the same color, no orange! And it is cut in a way that I won't have a lot of upkeep. I hate the curling and blow drying stuff so this cut, while curled in this picture, will suit my shower, wash hair, comb hair and go life style. Not only did I get my hair done but I stopped at the library and picked up a couple of books. James Patterson's Alex Cross series and a new Stephanie Plum book. My day has been uplifted completely. Now it is time to go play school teacher and then chef and then house cleaner and then if I don't fall asleep, I can actually read!!!!!!

Why is it a constant battle?

I've worked hard all my life to be a better person. Now when I was younger I wasn't working really hard to be enlightened or spiritual or less angry. I was working on being a good moral person with priorities in order, kids first, everything else after.

In the last decade I have worked on losing my anger and in the last five years I have worked really hard on becoming a more positive person. I have made major changes in both these areas and I am extremely proud of myself. I have also become more spiritual and by being more spiritual I am more in touch with my true authentic self.

I go long periods where there is nothing, no matter how big or small it is that can depress me or make me think that the glass is half empty. Then BOOM out of nowhere the slightest thing sends me reeling trying to find my center, my peace, my calm. My question is this...." Does it ever go away or are we always being tested? And if we are, does this mean I am failing or does it mean that I see things more clearly and still need to learn how to find my center?"

If anyone knows, please help. I will be open and interested in all ideas.

PS. I can still be thankful for my life and still be grateful I have healthy kids, and a wonderful husband and a terrific mom and a mother-in-law that I actually like, but sometimes I have to really kick it in to my head that my life is not bad, it's just a roller coaster ride.

Have you ever walked in another's shoes?

Today something happened that I can't explain for reasons that I can't explain but what I can say is that I met someone today and I have walked 10 years in her shoes. I am no longer wearing those shoes and am thrilled I am not but felt horrible that I couldn't do anything to help this person that was still stuck in her shoes. I, knowing there are consequences couldn't sit back and do nothing so I offered the branch of help. Hopefully it won't bite me in the butt. I want to send a prayer to God to help her feel his strength and know that he will help carry her through. He was always there for me, even when I wasn't the most willing or responsive or appreciative. He is a very loyal God.

Positive vibes sent out to the universe!

Lord as I go to sleep tonight, let me have pleasant dreams and maybe even a visit from my guardian angel letting me know I am on the right path in my life. As I leave for work tomorrow, may my spirit guides surround me and all the other people on the road and keep us safe. As I learn my new job, may my work angel help me soak in all the new knowledge I have to learn. When I am away from home, Lord will you and the angels that keep watch over my children keep them safe, help them feel loved and secure, and help them know that their parents miss them while they are gone. Watch over Steve on his motorcycle and keep him safe, not only on his way to and from work but while he is driving his limo also. Help us both to keep this thought in the forefront of our mind, "We are calm, positive, and kind beings and because of this we will be brought to calm, positive and kind beings." Let us be wise without being judgmental, help us be grateful for the good and the bad, for they each teach us lessons, and most important help us keep our priorities in order. You are an awesome God and through you all things really are possible.

Aparently all days can't start out as good ones!

But I have the power to change that, right? No I am not really asking the question, even though it looks and sounds like I am. I know that this to shall pass and in the major scheme of things, today's rough start is sooooo minor. Nobody likes to wake up to fighting children on your last day off from work, especially, when you know that they know, if they get their schoolwork done and their chores completed, they are going swimming with mom, cousin Tommy and cousin Emily and as a bonus get to see cousin Cari and get haircuts! So I must sit and relax and breath in and out that
1). I am grateful to have two healthy brats. (oops I meant children).
2) It is my last day off and I start back on 12 hours shift so won't see much of them for the next 4 days.
3) This change in our schedule has not only been hard on me and dad, it's been extemely hard on them, since they are used to having 1 or both parents around always and now we both work 12 or more hours a day.
4) Time is constantly running and soon they will be adults and fly like birdies out the door and on with their life so I should appreciate everything about them at this stage in their lives
5) This to shall pass.
6) So many people have so many bigger problems than I.
7) I am a fully aware and conscious human being and can and will change my attitude because I chose to be happy. (First I may need to be fully awake though)

Or maybe not, I feel better already and I may find the joy just around the corner.

Learning how to fulfill my spirituality!

Any one who knows me, knows that I am a reader. I usually have 3 books going at a time. Usually one or two are a James Patterson or Robert Parker book, or some other book that involves crime and intrigue. Then I will have a self help book going or a spiritual book that I can't keep my nose out of. Right now I am reading the President's book, The Audacity of Hope and Ask Your Guides, Connecting to Your Divine Support System. I just finished an awesome book by a Christian writer, it was a novel, This Side of Heaven. Was a very good book.

However, if I had to chose one that I am learning and loving the most it would have to be the Ask Your Guides. I have learned so much and just had somethings reaffirmed in my mind, that was once there but buried deep and needed that nudge.

Yesterday I read an awesome pray in the chapter called Healing Guides. With my mother, home now from not having a heart attack, just a bad case of gas in her chest (a big thank you to all that prayed for her) this just soaked into my brain.

Divine Mother God, Father God, and all healing forces of the Universe,
restore me to balance in body, mind, and spirit.
Remove everything from my consciousness and body
that isn't in perfect alignment with your loving plan for me.
I give my full permission and cooperaion to all healing forces of
Divine and loving nature to serve my well being.
Amen

Today I was reading the chapter on Joy Guides. There was a lot to be said about how joy guides work. How children especially babies can easily see them and respond with a chortle or a giggle. How when we are working to hard and haven't had any joy our joy guides will send our children or pets in to us begging us to play with them even if it is a bad time for us and how if we give in and follow our joy, life around us and for us is more joyful.

The part that really hit home for me was when I read the following: Joy guides also love to hide jewelry, shoes, your wallet, purse the report you have been working on, library books, your bathing suit (read this an hour after buying Gabby a new one because she can't find hers and we are going swimming Wedsnesday) and your cell phone-anything to get you out fo being on autopilot and bring you back into the moment. If you listen carefuuly, you can hear them giggling as they watch you race around like a chicken with its head cut off in these moments.

It goes on to say that we can save ourselves time and stress if we just give in and acknowledge the joy guides and go along with the joke. Just say, "Okay, I get it. I need t olighten up. Thanks for reminding me." If you do, the missing items will magically reappear. Being eternal children they like to play hide and seek. I especially liked the part about finding your glasses on your head, the paper you need in your hand and your car keys right in front of you. Just yesterday I was running a little late, in a hurry to get to work and I had my hands full. Couldn't find my car keys. Set everything down, went looking. Couldn't find them. As I walked back up to the stuff I set down, I saw them sitting there. I had apparently been holding them and set them down to go look for them. I had a good chuckle before I went to work.

Listen to your spirit guides takes work and trust and pratice but in the end it is so worth it and I am worthy of it.

Please pray for my mom!

So many years we wasted being angry with one another. Yes we had legitimate issues that we needed to work through but instead we went 9 years without speaking. It took the death of a loved one to make us forge our way to a trusting, loving relationship. I was so excited when we started speaking again that I even put the ringtone, Yo Answer the Phone It's Your Mama Calling, just because it had been so many long lonely years with no mother insight and I am sure it was just as long and lonely for her with no daughter or son-in-law, or grandkids in sight.

So now I have her back and we are falling into a really nice pattern of communication and sharing and love and guidance and support. Today she called and asked if it was a bad time and I answered that I was right in the middle of eating. She said to call me later. After I hung up I realized her tone wasn't quite right, something was wrong. I quickly finished eating and called her back. The first words out of her mouth shocked me. "I am in the hospital, they think I had a heart attack." They are keeping her over night and doing several test tomorrow. Pray as I will be doing that she will be all right and this was just a little warning to take better care of herself. I would truly appreciate it.

Our Dogs! Our best friends!

This is Tannen. He is Grandma Carol's best friend and is by her side always. His second favorite person is Gabby. From the way he carries on you would think he was as big as the German Shepard. While he may be small he is mighty in spirit.
My friend, King. How I love this dog! He would give his life for everyone of us in this family. He is starting to age. Getting up and down on some days hurts him. I pray every day that God keeps his pain away and keeps him healthy so he can live another 8 years. He is the coolest dog on earth.

Self Potrait

This is Cheyenne's Christmas Gerbil Suki. She is not as calm as Gabby's but she is still a neat little creature who is very fortunate to have Chey as her owner as she is an amazingly responsible pet owner.
This is Karai, Gabby's Christmas present that picked her out. Gabby put her hand in the cage and waited for the one that came to her. Karai leaped into her palm and is still coming to her every time she calls her name. Who knew that gerbils could be trained? Gabby did!
My last day off for the week and I am so blessed to be spending it with these 2 wild and wacky children. We are going to rush through their school work, which I just found out yesterday they are a month a head of the program and lessons will have to be made up for them to fulfill the rest of the school year. Today Chey asked if we can't do school on the web next year will you home school us? Since there is no danger of them not being able to be public schooled from home on the internet she can relax. They have taken remarkable responsibility this year for their work and worked hard. Since I had to go out and find a job I thought that with me gone, they would start slipping but they have surpassed even my wildest dreams. God is so good. He gave me these amazing beings to be my children, for me to love and mold into responsible, loving, generous human beings and yet I find that I learn more from them than they learn from me.

Amazing Friends and proof that the Universe does provide!!!

We have been wondering how the universe was going to provide us with a 3rd form of transportation. I know we are blessed already because we have 2 cars but when you have 3 adults working 3 different sets of hours that don't correspond you face difficulties. We were making the best of it. Jess would leave early drop me at work on time and then I would wait an hour and a half after I was off for her to pick me up. After a long day, this is not what you want to do and yes, I do realize that we have to do many things that we do not have to do. My biggest concern was that I was not only losing out on spending time with my children while I was working but another hour of waiting that could be better spent with my children. I miss them terribly and they miss me and since they are public schooled from home that was one more hour I wasn't there to help them.
Needless to say I was getting antsy about the whole situation. However the universal provided as it always does! Our great friend Gary has a motorcycle that he wants to sell. He knew Steve wanted it but couldn't afford it at the moment. Gary being the wonderful kind human being and terrific friend that he is put the bike on a transporter and it arrived here on Monday. Steve now has transportation to work on a motorcycle which he has wanted for the last 16 years. Jess is buying her car back from us giving us the much needed extra cash to pay our bills and she is covered for transportation. I get my car back and I will no longer have to leave early or wait for a ride again. My kids will get an extra hour or two with me a day!
Thank you Universe!!! Thank you God!!!! Thank you Gary!!!! Life is wonderful even when running full tilt on a roller coaster road.